About Me
My Approach
I am a trained Emotionally Focused Therapist (EFT). EFT is a humanistic, evidence-based approach to psychotherapy, drawing primarily from attachment theory to facilitate the creation of secure, vibrant connection with self and others. Rooted in the science of emotions and attachment, EFT helps clients identify and transform the negative processing and interaction patterns that create distress. Research studies find that 70 – 75% of couples move from distress to recovery in 10-12 sessions and 90% show significant improvement. EFT has been shown to be helpful between 8 – 20 sessions, (depending on the level of distress). As an EFT therapist, I use reflection, validation, reframing, tracking, assessing and problem-solving to organize the couple’s interactions and help them learn to recognize the emotions that come up and the cycles that occur. Once couples learn about these things, they can start to relate to one another in positive ways. Couples will learn how to be “relationship allies,” teaming up with their mates to catch unhealthy patterns that keep them from having the intimate, fulfilling relationship that they desire. I help couples practice, in-session to express what they truly long for from their partner, in preparation for expressing these things outside of the therapeutic setting.
I also incorporate Solution-Focused therapy, which means that I work with you to help develop specific goals that you want to achieve and I provide tools and strategies to achieve those goals. I integrate the Gottman Method, which helps to disarm conflicting verbal communication, increase intimacy, respect and affection by creating empathy and understanding within the relationship. I introduce the Internal Family Systems (IFS) Model to help couples understand that we each have various subpersonalities inside of us that make us up and that each one provides unique qualities that can show up during relationship interactions. Learning a little about these ‘parts’ can help individuals and their partners understand what happens during reactive, adaptive and withdrawing moments.
This approach to therapy does not yield a diagnosis, which is required for insurance billing. Therefore, I am not contracted under any insurance provider. I offer counseling work on a Self-Pay basis only. Please email me for details and pricing. Nikki@anewyoucounseling.com
Etf counseling is right for you if you are …
- Wanting to find a better way to connect, bond and interact with your partner
- Wand a reliable road map to count on to support your relationship and avoid your cycle
- Curious about exploring the inner worlds of yourself and your partner and understand better how you influence each other
- Teachable, and willing to work on yourself and your relationship
- Hoping to be able to create safety around needs and emotions in your relationship
- Open to hearing how you have contributed to the breakdown or disconnection and are willing to engage in personal growth to improve your relationship
Etf counseling might not be the best fit if you are …
- Looking for a script with specific words or actions to use when interacting with your partner
- Unable to make space to work as a team to strengthen your relationship
- Unable to make room to hear your partners feelings and experiences that are alive and real for them in the relationship
- More invested in reacting, defending, blaming and justifying than you are in hearing and understanding your partner
- Only looking for a quick fix and aren’t willing to patiently dismantle and deprogram negative cycles with your partner
- Not interested in understanding the root cause of the disconnection in your relationship
About Me
I am a born and raised New Mexico Native. I obtained my BA Degree from The University of New Mexico in Sociology and Family Studies in 2000. I received my Master’s Degree in Counseling from Webster University in May of 2003. Prior to my graduation, I volunteered to be a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for several years where I spoke in court on behalf of the children who could not speak for themselves. I also worked for The Children Youth and Families Department of New Mexico and as an Adoption Counselor for Adoptions Plus, where I counseled with pregnant mothers who were considering placing their babies for adoption. I have worked with adoptive families as well and still do to this day as a contracted adoption home study counselor and Certified Adoption Counselor. I enjoy seeing families come together through adoption and helping children find their forever families. I have a special place in my heart for children, and enjoy play, art and sand tray therapy while counseling with them. I have worked in two Elementary School settings and a Vocational High School, where I provided individual, play and group therapy to young children and teens.
After I became a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) I began working in various settings and with many diverse populations. I have a background in Individual Counseling, School Counseling & Couples Counseling. I’ve worked at various counseling agencies over the years, where I counseled with adults, adolescents, children and couples. For two years, I worked primarily as a Couples Counselor at an agency here in Albuquerque, New Mexico, where I was supervised by a Licensed Sex Therapist who was a valuable resource for my continued education in working with couples. Couples counseling is unlike any other therapy out there. Witnessing couples grow stronger as a unit is a very rewarding experience and I have enjoy helping couples work towards having the loving and rewarding relationships that they deserve.
In April of 2013, I opened my private practice in Rio Rancho, NM where I serve people on the Westside of Albuquerque as well as Rio Rancho. In 2014 I became a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC) and I chose at that time to specialize in working with couples. I currently work solely with relationship issues including communication, betrayals, sexual issues, blended family concerns, and other couple related topics. I work with all types of couples: dating, engaged, cohabitating, common-law married, newly married, re-married, multiple marriages, long term married, and LGBTQ+ couples. (I have less experience working with Consensual Nonmonogamy, Polyamory, Kink, and BDSM Communities, but I can help find affirming referrals and resources if needed for those populations.) I have some experience working with neurodivergent people, but I am not an expert in this area, if referrals are needed, I can assist there too. I am a secular therapist so my therapy is non-religious and not affiliated with any church or theology, and therefore I am open to working with people of all beliefs.I am a Certified Relationship Specialist (CRS) and I have completed my training in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and am working to become Certified. EFT is one of the only models of couple therapy that has been tested and shown to create lasting change in over 20 empirical studies. All of my couple’s work follows the writings, teachings and research of John Gottman, Dr. Sue Johnson, Gary Chapman, Arthur Aron, Dr. Kathy Nickerson, Dr. Gary Brainerd, Brene Brown, Esther Perel, Harville Hendrix, Dr. Amir Levine, Rachel S.F. Heller, and Michael S. Sorensen, just to name a few. (But I am ALWAYS learning something new).
I find that private practice affords me the ability to provide my clients exactly what I feel they need as well as provide flexibility for my own family. I have many hobbies including playing volleyball, sewing, writing, modeling, traveling, reading, meditating and spending time with my loving husband, my two awesome daughters, my cats and my Certified Therapy Dog ‘Zia’, who works to provide comfort to elderly and children in various settings.
I enjoy all aspects of counseling and I love my job. There is nothing like helping someone to reach their goals, helping someone to improve their life and their relationships and watching people blossom into their full potential. I truly love helping people and look forward to helping you too.
Testimonials
As seen in
‘Super Women’ issue – October, 2018
Click below to read more…
Recognition
“Consecutive Winner of the Best of Rio Rancho Award since 2014”
Member of New Mexico EFT
Member of ICCEFT
Member of NBCC
Hold Me Tight Couples Workshop Assistant
